Recently, I had the privilege of conversing with Peter and Theresa Martin about their book "The Rule: St. John Paul II's Rule for A Joy-Filled Marriage of Divine Love," which delves into St. John Paul II's teachings on marriage. This dialogue ignited a deeper contemplation on the saint's insights and the enduring relevance for men navigating modern relationships. In an era where the sanctity of marriage often seems under siege, John Paul II's wisdom serves as a beacon, challenging us to elevate both our understanding and practice of matrimony.
Pope John Paul II, devoted significant effort to exploring the sanctity of marriage. Through works like "Love and Responsibility" and "Theology of the Body," he crafted a comprehensive, spiritual perspective on marital love.
The Covenant of Love: Beyond Mere Contract
John Paul II portrayed marriage as a covenant of love, transcending social or legal conventions. This perspective challenges men to view their marital commitment not as a constraint, but as a conduit for personal growth and spiritual fulfillment. It calls us to approach our marriages with reverence, recognizing that we've embarked on a transformative partnership.
Self-Giving Love: The Antithesis of Self-Interest
One of John Paul II's most compelling concepts is self-giving love. He emphasized that genuine marital love is about what we can offer, not what we can gain. As husbands, we're called to emulate Christ's sacrificial love, prioritizing our wife's needs and making sacrifices for our family's wellbeing. He underscored the equal dignity of men and women, advocating for marriages founded on mutual respect. This challenges any notions of male dominance in marriage. For us, it means valuing our wife's opinions, including her in decision-making, and speaking about her with unwavering respect.
Spiritual Growth Through Matrimony
John Paul II viewed marriage as a path to holiness - a supernatural calling through which spouses grow closer to God. This invites us to see our marriages as catalysts for spiritual growth, encouraging us to pray together, foster faith practices, and view marital challenges as opportunities for cultivating virtue. And yes, even through the diaper changes and picking up another broken toy on the ground, these are moments that we can offer to God. The importance of fatherhood cannot be overlooked and JP II agreed. He envisions fathers as spiritual and emotional nurturers, not just providers. This calls us to be actively involved in our children's upbringing, model faith and values, and collaborate closely with our wives in parenting. The old adage "she takes care of the children" is not only just wrong but does not match with Christian principles.
Sexuality and Intimacy: A Sacred Language
In "Theology of the Body," John Paul II presented a holistic view of human sexuality as a profound form of communication reflecting divine love. This challenges distorted cultural views, calling us to treat sexuality as sacred, respect our wife's dignity, and cultivate emotional and spiritual intimacy alongside physical connection. Sex is what makes you become one with your wife. This unifying act is precisely what God meant when He stated "the two will become one flesh." You and your wife become whole during the sexual act as designed by God in the context of marriage. It is impossible to have "casual sex" and not leave both parties leaving a piece of them in the other. Our culture spits on the sanctity of this act and it is time we take it seriously again.
Marriage: The Cornerstone of Society
Karol saw strong marriages as the bedrock of a healthy society. This perspective invites us to see our marriages as having a broader societal impact, challenging us to model healthy relationships and engage in community service as a family unit. He presented a model of masculine leadership rooted in service rather than domination. This challenges us to lead our families with humility and compassion, prioritizing the collective good over personal gain.
A Challenge to YOU
As we reflect on these teachings, let's challenge ourselves to strengthen our marital bonds. This week, commit to one significant action demonstrating sacrificial love for your wife. Whether it's orchestrating a thoughtful date night, shouldering a burdensome household responsibility, or initiating a meaningful conversation about your shared spiritual life, choose an action that demonstrates your commitment.
Remember, in giving ourselves fully in marriage, we discover our truest selves. By embodying these teachings, we not only enrich our own lives but foster a culture of love in our world.
Let us rise to the challenge of being the husbands our wives deserve and the men God calls us to be. Our marriages, our families, and our society will undoubtedly be strengthened by our efforts. In doing so, we honor the profound wisdom of St. John Paul II and contribute to the elevation of marriage in our modern world.
