JD Vance, current VP of the United States, apparently shocked the world when he announced the principle of ordo amoris as a Christian idea. He went on air and then tweeted out "Just google “ordo amoris.” Aside from that, the idea that there isn’t a hierarchy of obligations violates basic common sense. Does Rory really think his moral duties to his own children are the same as his duties to a stranger who lives thousands of miles away? Does anyone?"
In a world consumed by chaos, confusion, and misplaced priorities, the concept of Ordo Amoris—the right ordering of love—has never been more critical. St. Augustine, one of the greatest minds in Church history, taught that virtue itself is nothing more than properly ordered love. When a man understands Ordo Amoris, he places God first, loves his family as he should, and rightly orders all things according to their true value. Without this we are violating natural law and things begin to transform into ways they ought not to be.
But today, love is disordered. People love power, pleasure, and self-gratification more than truth, sacrifice, and God. And as a result, we are witnessing the collapse of families, the rise of weak men, and a society in moral decay. If we do not correct this disorder, we will suffer the consequences—not only in this life but in eternity.
What is Ordo Amoris?
Ordo Amoris, at its core, is about loving the right things in the right way. St. Thomas Aquinas built on St. Augustine’s teachings, explaining that love must be directed toward its proper end: God. The hierarchy of love should be as follows:
- God Above All – The first and greatest commandment: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength (Matthew 22:37).
- Love of Self in Relation to God – We are called to holiness, not selfishness.
- Love of Neighbor – This includes our families, friends, and all whom God places in our lives.
- Love of Material Goods in Their Proper Place – Money, possessions, status—these are tools, not ends in themselves.
When love is rightly ordered, a man finds purpose, peace, and strength. When it is disordered, he falls into confusion, sin, and weakness.
A more practical and realistic ordering of items in a man's life could be something such as this:
- God
- Self
- Wife
- Children
- Neighbors
- Community/Church
- County/State
- Country
- Country's Allies
Disordered Love in Today’s World
Disorder is the rule of our age. Modern men are told to “follow their hearts,” but Scripture warns us: The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick (Jeremiah 17:9). Men today chase:
- Careers over their families.
- Pleasure over responsibility.
- Political ideology over objective truth.
- Comfort over sacrifice.
One beautiful point that this drives home is the hierarchy of values. Being a Catholic convert myself, Catholicism just makes sense. There is order. There is structure. It is logical. A sin is not just a sin. There is a hierarchy to it. Is murder the same as gossip? Not so much. Should we love our neighbor more than we love our wife? I would certainly hope not. If so, you are actually violating the natural law and committing a sin. It is an act of injustice.
We see the effects of this disordered love everywhere:
- Fatherlessness.
- Pornography addiction.
- A culture obsessed with self-expression rather than self-denial.
- Men who are physically strong but spiritually weak.
Weak men make weak families. Weak families make weak societies. And at the heart of it all is disordered love.
Restoring Ordo Amoris in Your Life
If you are serious about living as a man of God, you must take action today. Here’s how:
-
Put God First
- Pray daily.
- Read Scripture.
- Go to Mass and Confession regularly.
- Lead your family in faith.
-
Fulfill Your Duties as a Man
- If you are married, love your wife through action, not just words.
- If you have children, raise them in virtue and faith.
- If you are single, prepare yourself for your future vocation.
-
Detach from Worldly Idols
- Examine your life. What takes priority? Sports? Social media? Work? If anything comes before God, reorder it.
- Cut out sin ruthlessly. Lust, greed, pride—these destroy your soul.
- Choose discipline over comfort. Be a man of action, not passivity.
A Call to Action
The fate of our families, our Church, and our society depends on men reclaiming Ordo Amoris. If you get this right, everything else in your life will fall into place. If you get this wrong, you will remain lost, weak, and ineffective.
The saints did not become saints by accident. They fought, they suffered, and they ordered their love rightly. Will you?
Start today. Put your love in order. Live as a man of God. The world needs you to.
Share this with a man who needs to hear it. Let’s rebuild masculinity, restore the family, and reclaim our place as leaders in the faith.
